THE NEGATIVE REACTION

Usually I'm in a good mood when I drive home from hockey, but the last two nights I've played (Wednesday and tonight) it's been draining and very frustrating for me. Then I start thinking about the rest of my life and I think I'm missing something. I feel like whatever value I got out of life has evaporated somewhere and I can't seem to find the fun anymore.

Friday night hockey used to be about fun. Then all of a sudden one guy (whom I know very well) felt it necessary to start stacking the teams, floating and doing everything to try and gain an advantage so he could win and win big - which I don't get. Pick up hockey by nature is unstructured and is supposed to be about having fun, but not him. Maybe I'm the old sour puss guy just looking to get some exercise and have some fun, but I'm not having fun and getting frustrated in the process. I've come to the conclusion I should stop playing hockey and go back to the gym and look for other activities where I let certain people get to me.

In any case, I think it's deeper than that since I should be right where I want to be in life. I just left a dead-end job and got a nice raise, the new job is fun, but the tools I have to use to do my job sucks. My six year wedding anniversary was today and I was like, "Huh, who cares?". I just cannot seem to find any jot in my current situation and it's beyond me what I have to do to make it better.

Maybe blog about it to get needless attention?

Maybe a mid life crisis? I know I don't need a 23 year old mistress or a sports car to feel better. So what do I need to find some joy in life and feel like I'm actually worth something to this cold and cruel world?

I think I'll sleep on it and worry about it tomorrow. . . too many things to be pissed about at the moment.

Like Ozzy once said:

Voices, A thousand thousand voices
Whispering, the time has passed for choices
Golden days are passing over, Yeah





See you on the other side folks. . .