THE NEGATIVE REACTION

LONG TIME. . .NO POSTS?

Yes, its been a while and things have been cruising along just fine. since I've quit my job at MCU, my job here at thomson West has been a lot of hard work, but also a lot of fun. The people are awesome and everyday is a new challenge, which is something I have not yet had in a long, long, time. So it feels good to use my brain instead of running all day on auto pilot, ya know?

Aside from all the major news happenings in the past month (Terry Schiavo, Pope dying, the Baseball steroid scandal)out in the real world, some good things have begun to take shape.

Frist of all, our soccer team has finally managed to find our form and are actually in the championship game tomorrow. Either way, I'll be happy - win or loose. Then we have one more session before outdoor starts. I joined a team here at work that plays in the recreational division, which will be a nice change of pace from the smashmouth style you have to play in the competitive league. I'm looking forward to keeping my good form and working on a few new moves. Keeping my fitness up will be key, so I'll be prepared when summer finally starts.

One other big thing that has happened is my son wants to go with his church to New Zealand this next spring. It just so happens to take place when he should be here visiting. I'm sure this is going to be the first of many things he will want to do in leu of spending time here with me - his father. I'm going to let him go, but I'm going to make sure his mother makes concessions regarding his visitation so I'm not losing a week of seeing him.

For now I shelved my skateboarding activities. Between soccer and hockey, there's not much time left to partake. I took up skateboarding because soccer had become bothersome and my teammates pissed me off. Perhaps this summer I might take up the plywood again and ride. But for right now, I have no plans in the near future.

I did have one unusual experience yesterday though. Since I am an NDSU grad, I get a nice, glossy, bi-monthly magazine that includes stuff about art, the sociology department, and the general goings on at the university. There never really is anything in the magazine that appeals to me. A few years back, one issue did get to me. It had a three page story of Phil Hansen. He was a stand out football player at NDSU while I was there and he was drafted by the Buffalo Bills and spent 10 years in the NFL. Upon his retirement, they did a story on him. It really brought back a ton of memories about my college experience and what it meant to me. I wrote a long emotional letter to the editor. Unformtunately, it got lost or deleted before I could send it. Since it was a "stream of consciousness" writing style, I couldn't remember a lot of what I wrote and I feared I really couldn't re-capture the feelings I had in another letter, so I just dropped it and forgot about it.

Welllllllllllllllllllll, guess what showed up on my doorstep yesterday? The NDSU magazine, with a really big article on my nemisis professor Dr. Clark. He was a professor of Anthropology at NDSU and for some reason we never got along so well. So when I saw the article and all the incredible stuff he's done with the Archeology department I was pretty happy for him. They had a picture of him and mannnnnn did he look old. Its funny to think the guy was in his mid 40's when I met him, and I figured he was at the top of his game then. In the picture he looked run down, old, and had put on a few pounds. The article strummed up a lot of memories again about my days in the Sociology Department and my college experiences all over again. I was moved to email him and try to mend the fences after so many years and congratulate him on making the department such a success. I also wondered where some of friends and colleagues were that I had spent so many years being around and where their lives have led them.

It all made me wonder how lucky I am to be where I am today. College started out as a joy ride and ended in disaster for me. It never ended on my terms, but somebody elses. To this day, I know I carry that baggage with me. For me, its ALWAYS about having control. When I lost that, it devastated me. Maybe it was some kind of weird pennace I had to go through to understand how destiny works, God's plan and all that jazz. Strange where I could have landed. Its something that makes think everyday how my life could have been different. I don't think of it in any negative terms, just different terms. I love life right now, I made it through and I have a ton to be thankful for. But seeing that magazine and reading the stories of my old university brings back some dark memories. The longing to go back and do it RIGHT this time. I think that is unltimately what kills me in the end. The stern realization that I can't go back and fix it.

Enough of my morbid fascination with the past. . . . .


the pic of the day - as usual:

my boyz, back from the brink. . . ONE SIDE ZERO.



An April 4th gig and rumors of an EP in the making. My life can now go on again. You have NO IDEA how long I've hung with these guys waiting for them to get their shit together and get going again. An amazing band that deserves a lot more run they have received thus far. Oh well, my rant is done. Enjoi!


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