THE NEGATIVE REACTION

ONE FROM THE EDGE. .

I read blogs, mostly for fun, sometimes for material or something to jar a memory loose so I can have something to write about. Today was special though. I just remembered this great story about an old roommate.

Now, I must preface this by saying I've never had any really bad roommates. Most of my roommates in college were on my soccer team. So acting stupid when you're lit up, or peeing in their shoes after a long night of drinking was common. Going days and not showering, using all of your roommates soap (the always dangerous mamalian bar trick), and generally acting like a slob didn't go well with the sort I lived it. It was accepted we all had some class and chose to be respectful of those around us.

When I moved back to Minneapolis, I wasn't so fortunate to pick out decent roommates. You see, I didn't want to live with my parents, so after I got a job (which was a really shitty one) I moved in some of my co-workers. ALL of them were cards in their own right, but the best was probably Terry or Josh. Terry was one of these people that didn't believe in showering or changing clothes for that matter. He would basically work 11 hours in the summer heat, with a full polyester suit. Then come home, lay down on the couch fall asleep, get up the next morning and just go to work. I think his all time record was like 5 days doing this. He FINALLY took a shower after several people mentioned a nostril flaring stench following him wherever he went. Thus, he was nicknamed "DISenterry". Now Josh, he was another ball of wax. I nicknamed him "Yoshi" because he had a glass pot pipe shaped like a mushroom that reminded me of the Super Mario Bros game.

Anyways, the guy was a pothead, and four years older than anybody in the apartment (which put him around 29,30). This guy just mystified me to no end. He got caught up with some English broad that liked fancy gifts and expensive food. It wouldn't be anything for them to go out and blow $200 on lunch. Of course, Josh was a sucker for a nice ass and big tits. He ALWAYS ended up paying the tab. Of course, none of us were making any money, let alone enough to be supporting a fucking English mistress and her expensive habits.

So after several months of doing this instead of paying the bills and more importantly RENT, we were on the verge of being evicted. So one night his skank English bitch comes over for one more roll in the hay before she heads back across the pond.

As fate would have it, they were drunk and started to get pretty loud. She was such a fucking screamer, I always had to put on my walkman in order to avoid hearing them knock boots till all hours of the morning. Tonight was no different. So as they were getting louder, I started to pound on the wall and yell "Put a sock in that bitches mouth motherfucker!! I'm trying to sleep!!" Then it would quiet down for a bit, then escalate again. This is when I finally started to plot. You see, they'd go on and on for like an hour, then break and come out into the living room, then go back in for another session. In between sessions, I went into my other roommates bathroom and got her baby powder and put it all over his sheets, then pulled his comforter back over the evidence. I was banking on it being dark (he liked letting candles burn all night long) when they were getting it on. Of course, being drunk and horny, they never noticed it until they were almost done. The reaction was PRICELESS.

It went something like this. . .

HER: Oh god, pound me baby, pound me so hard!!"
HIM: Oh yeah baby!! Oh yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh!!"
*then abrupt stop*
HIM: "What the fuck did you put on me?"
HER: "Ummmmmm nothing Josh, why?"
HIM: "Because there's shit all over in my bed!!"
HER: *screams*
HIM: "WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY BED?!?!?!"
HER: "Oh my god, look all this pasty shit in the bed!!!"
HIM: "What the FUCK is IT?"

Just the sheer panic in his voice had me laughing hysterically for hours. Not to mention everytime I thought about it, it just made me laugh out loud. Classic, completely classic.

The funny thing is this. We did get evicted. We moved into another place under the condition with the landlord we would be on a month-to-month lease. Yeah, we moved in in May and on August 31 (that's just four months later kiddies) we got a letter that said our landlord wasn't going to renew our lease. After inquiring as to why he wasn't, it was pretty simple. Josh hadn't paid rent for the past 3 months!! So the landlord simply reclaimed mine and my roommates deposit in order to pay for the rent this dumbass never paid.

Needless to say, everytime I went to go rent an apartment, I got refused because the eviction was now on my renters history. So in order to get this off, I had to take all of my roommates to court, have them sign a shitload of papers about what happened so I could be absolved. It was a MAJOR headache and something I'm glad I've never had to go through since.

After that little experience, I ended up moving in with my best friend. Which was better in many regards, but not all. I'll get a few of those experiences later. . .

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

the pic, errrrrrrr pics of the day. . .

After John O Shea's goal sealed the deal for the Red Devils. The announcer said he could play for 15 more years and never have a prettier goal.



What can I say? The match was everything it was hyped to be and more. In the end, my Red Devils prevailed. In doing so, they leap frogged Arsenal in the standings and set up an end of the season barn burner between us and Chelsea.

Figures to be a great ending to another great season!!!



LATERS BRAH!